"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Choosing Your Wedding Party Attendants
Most couples choose to have attendants in their wedding. Whether it is two or more attendants these individuals are chosen to act as witnesses. Choosing the right number of attendants is totally up to the couple. It is a common practice that you choose one man for each woman; this will keep your wedding party looking well balanced. Some couples have a large number of people that they could easily consider suitable for a position in their wedding event, others do not.
It may also be the case that you would prefer to have a smaller wedding; the bonus in this for some is the lower cost, for others its the convenience it provides. Whichever direction taken by you and your fiancé, it will be very likely that you both will want to have someone as witness to your event; this is where a traditional wedding will include the wedding party with a much more meaningful purpose of course.
There are no rules that dictate the selection and number of your wedding attendants but, there are a few practicalities to consider when deciding.
WEDDING SIZE & FORMALITY-
The size and formality of your wedding will help to determine the number of attendants you will want to choose. If you plan to have a small intimate affair, you wont want to outnumber your guests with attendants. The size of your reserved space may also help you to decide on a smaller number of attendants. If you plan to have a large extravagant wedding, the size of your wedding party will only be limited to the amount of individuals that are specially selected to partake. The size of a wedding party wont take the attention from the married couple which will remain the center of attraction but, it will help to create a focal point to those attending the celebration.
BUDGETING WITH THE WEDDING PARTY-
The process of planning a wedding can be very financially demanding. The couple is financially responsible for bouquets, boutonnieres, attendants gifts and accommodations along with so much more that are just other parts of the wedding ingredients. The more attendants you choose, the larger your reception guest list will be from having to include their significant other. You will be responsible to feed not only your attendants but their partners as well.
RELIGION WITH RESTRICTIONS
Before you choose your witness, be sure to consult your officiant about religion restrictions. Some religions have strict rules regarding the official witness and may require that this individual be a member of your faith. If the individual you wish to have stand up for you is not of the same faith, there may be alternative measures such as, to have him or her attend a pre-ceremony instruction class before they can participate. Your officiant should be able to suggest an alternative if this is the case.
Choosing the wedding attendants for some couples is easily done and without stress or disappointments. For others this is not as easy the case. Many couples will create a larger than expected list of individuals to then have to cut back due to financial requirements. Having to do this is a burden that can easily be avoided. Obviously, every one close to you is expecting to be included in your plans and hurting their feelings may seem inevitable. Here are some general guidelines to use when choosing your attendants.
CONSIDERATION WHEN CHOOSING-
First, think about the closest people to you and your spouse. The wedding party is usually made up of close friends and family of both the bride and groom. Commonly the brother/s and sister/s of the marrying couple will be included in the wedding party. Depending on the size of your wedding and number of siblings, including them all may be somewhat of a challenge. This is where you will probably consider sacrificing the use of a wedding party to only include two witnesses (Maid of honor and best man).
INCLUDING CLOSE FRIENDS-
This one is tricky. Usually a best friend is chosen to be a witness but, if you find yourself with two or more best friends you may want to consider other options. You wouldnt want to hurt anyones feelings by choosing only one of your best friends to take the role of best man or maid of honor. In this case consider having all your best friends participate as regular attendants to make up the wedding party. This will cause less tension and avoid the feeling of favoritism amongst your closest friends.
If the decision must be made to choose only one or two of your best friends to be among your wedding party, a method that may work more effectively due to its lack of emotional ties in decisions could be the coin toss. Though this method may seem rash, it is commonly used and accepted as fair to the decision in cases that are as sensitive in nature as this. It will be easier for your friends to accept the decision you are forced to make if it is done openly and with a fair judgment based on their own selection. If not the coin toss maybe by pulling for straws, with each one marked with a different color that refers to a position in the wedding. The position that each friend holds would depend on the straw color they pulled. A wedding is a full bodied function that could include many other useful ingredients that will only add taste to the already sweet flavor, opening other positions that are of significant value to your wedding simply requires a bit of imagination and thought.
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